April 10, 2009

my secret soul mate

At the stage I am at right now in life, friends are getting married, having babies, being grown ups. But, I wonder if any one of them has the life partner that I do. He cheers me up when I am bored, remembers little things that I like, and can always guess what I am thinking/needing. He even sends me emails once a week proving his love for me. Who is he, you ask? Well... he is Stumble Upon . I know I have told you about him before, but today- he really warmed my heart.

Here are some of the links he sent me that he thought I would like:

Pretzels AND Peanut Butter AND Chocolate

Babies are manic depressive

So, I am not married, back off!


Booze on sale!

Oh yeah, well I invented superman.

Seriously?!! I mean, what a KEEPER!

Granted, my super cool boyfriend was the one that taught me the ways of Stumble Upon, and frequently sends me similar links through G-chat... so... I guess I can keep him around too. ;)

April 8, 2009

Maybe I will run into Scott in a coffee shop

So, I watch the show Lie to Me on Fox. I think it is a great way to pick up a few pointers in case someone tries to lie to me. The reason I bring this up is because, with ten minutes to go in the show, we got to see Seacrest in the control room, being counted in for his promo spot. Apparently this is their way of saying, "Hey, we effed up. We ran 8 minutes over and half of America missed the guy that is gonna win. Our bad, we will try to stay on top of it." Let's hope.

What is up with those gloves, Paula? I just remembered why I hate this recap show.... wait a minute. I was just about to bitch about some "Simon is old" montage, and then Frankie Avalon comes on stage. Paula and Kara are creaming their panties, as the contestants are surely saying "who is this old dude?" Wow. He is shorter than Ryan Seacrest.

Here we go with the group sing, in they year Idol was born (lame). Poor Scott. I think in big numbers like this, they need to give him the thing my mom latched on me in the mall when I was a toddler. It was two velcro wristbands connected by a bouncy cord. I feel like an asshole, but seriously. How is this going to work on tour, when they are on a different stage with a different layout every night? So, they are doing the group sing live tonight, prolly after a bunch of shit from the viewers, and I would like to say- bring it back. Please.

Now comes the part where they pretned like the Ford commercial is not a commercial, and part of the show. They take us behind the scenes. And Scott is hilarious. Not only does he joke with the stylist about not wanting anything pink (rewind to when Simon making fun of his pink pants ), and then he is killing time with a Simon impression. Rad. This guy is funny. If he had shown more of that, he would have had more of my heart. But he can't lipsynch worth a mother.

Apparently the mayor of the dumb town that the Justin Timberlake guy is from is in the crowd.

Let's get to the drama. Adam, Kris and Anoop, please stand. Let's give Adam some props, since we ran over last night... blah blah. Do Paula's earrings have the converse logo? Adam is safe. Duh. It is between Kris and ANoop for bottom three. It's Anoop, thank God. I finally pin pointed what he reminds me of. HE reminds me of that asshole in every political science lecture class I had in college that has to raise his hand and say something obvious so that he could let everyone know he was really smart. And then he ended up in your discussion class, and was even prickier, and your T.A. saw through it, and would roll his eyes, telling someone else to answer the question. And THEN some girl in your sorority would end up bringin him to your date party, and he would try to say hi, and pretend like he wasn't a total douche, when you knew better. Yeah, that's Anoop.

Okay. I hate FLO Rida. One reason is because of that stupid name. I can't remember what piece of shit song he was last famous for, but I asked my boyfriend who sang it via text message. He had to send two messages to clarify that while his name looked like a state, it was, in fact, a really fun play on words. My boyfriend is much more in tune with what the cool kids listen to. He did syndicated radio, so yeah. Another reason I don't like FLO Rida: he sucks. And this song is annoying, and I think it is about oral sex. I thought this was a family show. I had to lower the volume, because it was hurting my head. Things don't bode well for me though, because Kelly Pickler is up next.

I am feeling more on my game tonight. I guess that is what sleeping all day and some anti-biotics will do to you. ;)

Ugh, Danny Gokey. He is safe. Justin Timberlake guy is safe. Scott.... is not. Bottom three. and Ryan does a terrible job of man handling him across the stage. Terrible. They should practice that.

Allison.... Lil.... Allison is safe. Lil is bottom three, with reason. She should be a back up singer. She has no personalilty or stage presence. There, I said it.

I am not at all surprised by the bottom three. Now we talk about the "save." Apparently there is "one in particular" that they would contemplate saving. I don't think it is Scott. I am gonna say it is the one they have given about 28 minutes of criticism to over the passed few weeks. I am gonna say this.... you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it sing a modern song and make it their own.

Kelli Pickler sucks. And that song was terrible.

Now we send one person to saftey...Lil is safe. Duh. Her grandpa spazzes out in the audience.

Okay, now one will have to sing for his life.... 30,000 votes sepertate...Scott is bottom. He looks like such a lost puppy, I feel bad for him. His sister looks so sad. He is singing it out, and the judges are openly talking, realizing he isn;t watching them. Paula is gonna cry. Sad. His mom is crying. This is gonna be rough.

Two people think he should stay... let me guess who. Omg... this is so painful..... he is practically begging, .... and simon pulls the band-aid. Of course that Danny Gokey piece of shit is the first to hug him. Just trying to get that extra camera time.

Paula gets the last word.... sugary sweet. Well- at least he will get a hug from Kelli Pickler. He can totally grope her and not get in trouble. THAT is the card I would play.

Rad part about living in the same state as the voted off contestant? Immediate interview... here it comes... no. wait. another 20 minutes. boo. sorry scott, people are waiting to read this. gtg. ;)

April 7, 2009

another idol recap

I totally meant to blog another time before another idol post. But with book club, and a friends wedding and two friends in town, and the secret surprise today of a SINUS INFECTION, it just didn't happen. So, realize that I am more than just a loser that posts about idol.

Is it just my meds, or are the lights a little too much? We got rid of the lame judges intro in lieu of showing baby photos in honor of "songs from the year you were born" night. This night always sucks, because the judges expect the contestants to update a song that is at least 16 years old. And most just do a "lame karaoke version" and fail.

Danny Gokey is an ass clown. Wait, this song isn't about a dead wife. Is hair purple? So, it started off okay, and has now broken into a full on boat cruise lounge act . Did he not learn that is dancing is not his thing? Also- just because Paula is standing doesn't mean it is good. She has to dance the drugs out. Kara has nice hair.

So, tonight I am watching idol with the roomie for the first time in awhile. I need to tell her things about the contestants that she may have missed (like the dead wife-she knows scott is blind). And we are waiting for pizza that was supposed to be here like, 15 minutes ago. They probably are jerking off on it, because after we got the total for the medium pizza and realized that it was cheaper to get the large pizze and wings, we told them they were ridiculous and changed the order. But seriously, $23 for a medium pizza!? Horseshit. Add the drugs into this, and I am a little distracted.

Is Kris's voice deeper this week? He is really cool. AH! Because we are both gemini-cancers. Three days part, and a few years. I have a crush now, I think. He is very JC Chasez in this song. I am probably one of the few people that actually purchased his Schizophrenic album.I am not a fan of the crowd being so close. I am afraid they are gonna steal his wallet or something.

Thanks for clearing up the name thing, Lil. She does a Tina Tuner impression. And it is lame, and Paula is actually coherent, and tells her it was karaoke. They all hammer in the same thing, and it is torturous. I thought she was gonna cry.

I hear that Anoop is singing "True Colors" after the break, and I am contemplating turning the station. I hate him, and his pretension(is that a word), and his stupid bedroom eyes. I love that Ryan called him out on being an asshole. Well, he's a tarheel, so it makes sense. Haha.

This is awful. I used to pretend that i was Cindy Lauper, and dance in the living room to this album. He sucks.I LOVE simon's face during Paula's criticism. She DID say "you showed your true colors like a rainbow."

I think it is really lame that some people are using baby pictures, and others are not. Putting up a picture of you as an 11 year old doesn't really make sense, since you are only 16. I am talking to you, Allison.

So the blind guy has a birthday a few days before mine (plus a few years). It really sucks when you realize you are totally older than all the idol contestants. Does it concern anyone else that a blind guy wants to conduct a train? Wait. WTF. He is standing up with a guitar. Did he decide to steal the " guitar thing" because everyone stole the "piano thing" last week? It was awful. He sucked. It is time to stop, America. He is not the strongest singer, nor the strongest performer here. Thank you Simon, for calling out the fact that the guitar was totally disconnected from the song. Dammit. He missed his only opportunity to sing George Michael. I love that he said "I wanted to show that I was versatile before I went home." This kid knows that his time is up. Good thing.

Okay. This Bonnie Rait song "I Can't Make You Love Me" is one of my favorite songs in the world. And George Michael did a cover, and it was amazing. I think she is a little young for this song, and it shows in her phrasing. It is missing that PAIN and sadness. But she does have a great voice. I feel like my criticism is off this week. I am just too tired. I don't like her magenta hair. And the judges nutted all over her. Apparently I am just too critical.

I love this AT&T commercial. The song is great. Finally googled it.

Haha. Matt was a theater dork. "Part-Time Lover." A rarely covered Stevie song. Paula is a goober. She feels the beat of the rhythm of the night.I am not really sure how I feel about this performance. Well, the judges loved it. So I guess I did. What the hell with a 45 second judges recap? Oh, it is only an hour tonight. Had they not spent five minutes repeating the same thing they always do to Lil, they would be in time.

Haha, Adam has been effeminate since childhood. Love it. I love this song..... Can we just give him the award yet? Paula is in love. The lighting is a little extreme this week.

How do they run this far over? Is NO ONE watching the time? Tell Paula and Randy they don't need to talk, because whatever they have to say is irrelevant anyway. I mean, really. They know the timing on the pre-produced video montages, they know how long the songs run. So the only time that they don't have pinned down is the lame stool question sessions (eliminating these is my vote) and the judges response. Get a big fucking clock, and put it in front of them. Ugh.

All right, sorry for the kinda lame recap. I am gonna go to bed now.