April 13, 2013

What a Difference A Year Makes

Here I sit, recently showered and clean from mud that filled (almost) every crevice following my latest mud run. I say latest because my life as of late seems to be scheduled around the next crazy, wild, themed race. In the past year I have become a Dirty Girl, a Spartan Chick and today I became a Warrior. If you have facebook/instagram/twitter stalked me over the past year, you may have seen a change… but you may not have known the reason behind it. If you want the unabridged, raw and honest reason for it, you can click through here. If you want the abridged (or tl;dr) version here it is: April 28, 2012 I made the decision to change my life. I watched as my friends competed in a race I was too scared to join them for, and I felt like a failure who was sitting on the sidelines of my own life. I decided I never wanted to feel that way ever again. Today, 15 days short of a year later, not only did I complete that race, some may say that I crushed it. :)

There are many physical changes that you can see. Down 3-4 pants sizes, 50+ lbs, and I’m working on that 6 pack. But the changes that keep me motivated are the changes in my view of myself in this world. I’ve always been the slightly (ok, incredibly) goofy girl with a big heart and a lot of feelings. At some point along the line, she was replaced by an insecure, neurotic mess who shut herself away from the world. More on that in the long blog that you may or may not have clicked through before. What matters now is that the fun loving goofball is back. And she brought with her an excitement for life, a confidence that is rarely shaken, and a pride in herself and everything she has accomplished. For longer than I like to admit, I shied away from life and all its experiences because I wasn’t comfortable with my physical shape and I let it overtake me. Now, I embrace new challenges and new experiences. I don’t sit with my cat and a bottle of wine (and a plate of nachos, let’s be honest) watching Cold Case on a Friday night, pretending it’s what I wanted to be doing.

The road here hasn’t been easy. There was a blog about that too, complete with progress pics. I am so eternally grateful for the support of my friends, family and anyone who has ever been on a race track with me.  To those that say I inspire them, I honestly don’t know how to respond. Your kindness keeps me motivated, and I want to keep making you proud.

So if there is a change you have wanted to make, and you have been too scared to take the step, do it. Don’t wait. Because a year from now, imagine where you could be. When you love yourself for who you are and what you bring to the world, it’s pretty incredible what you can accomplish.