Let's keep this one brief, because this whole episode should be a half hour. If only I directed this show... Don't worry- the same sappy bullshit would still be on there- it would just end on time. Every time.
So, after the review, there is my favorite part of the wrap up show, the cheesy musical medley. There is a wrench into the wheel of cheese this year, as they have to choreograph around the blind guy. This week, it was a pre-produced medley, so with the terrible lip synching, etc, etc, I started to load the dishwasher. AH! That's why no one sang "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" last night, because they were saving it for this shit storm.
Insert cheesey Ford commercial that is disguised as part of the show here.
Insert slightly disappointing Joss Stone and Smokey duet.
So, here is the part where Ryan is cheesy, and does his dramatic shit. If I felt like paying Cox an additional $5 a month, I would be fuh-fuhing right now. But F them. They raise my rates every three months by $3. They don't get that extra 5. The guy who is gonna win the whole thing is safe... big surprise... Justin Timberlake guy is sa... holy shit. Bottom three. Apparently people didn't like him up from the piano. Then cheesy shit... blah blah. Vampire guy is bottom three. Then it is down to the Blind Guy and the Witch/Spaz. America surprises me, and the Blind Guy is bottom three. They parade him out there... he looks like he is gonna cry. Now I feel bad for making such fun of him... then- he is announced as safe. Phew. Now it is ok that I am an asshole. :) Joey(the boyf) says, "Yeah. I knew that was gonna happen. I talked to my sister earlier, and she said it was terrible, because they bring him out just to sit him back down." True, yet somehow awesome. Just letting him know that he needs to stop fucking around.
Insert my super awesome fresh strawberry dessert. :)
Snce we have to leave the results until 7:58.45, they bring out one of the kings of Motown, Stevie Wonder. Blind guy goes ape shit, and I am afraid he is gonna fall. He starts singing "Cherie Amour," and the stupid cast sings along. I hate that shit. Kris is especially offensive. And that witch girl is snapping off beat. Ugh. Stevie is awesome, and I am pretty sure that the only reason he agreed to perform is the blind guy. He was probably like "HOLY SHIT! How do I get a guest appearance? You're gonna have to tell me what this show is like, because I have never seen an episode. Haha. I love Stevie. One of my top ten faves.
I hate hell's kitchen. Never watch it. Promos turn me off.
Here we go... I dig this sing for survival shit... :) Record setting vote..... just not for Michael. DUH. Let's see him make his stupid pained faces for the last time. Has he gotten fatter? That shirt is awful. PAULA IS TOTALLY DANCING DISCO. I want just a little of the mix she is on. Only a little, because she has a much higher tolerance for that than me.... If it is possible, that performance was even worse than last night. After some babbling, Simon pulls off the band-aid.
Video montages KILL me. And Michael is enjoying every moment of it. Good for him, because his singing career is going to peak at the local hotel bar.
5 weeks ago