April 21, 2009

You Should BE Dancing, YEAH

So, that few minutes before Idol starts where I watch TMZ makes me dumber.

I love the dramatic open about the "judges save." Duh. Of course we are gonna leave it to the end... and send home two, when there are three that suck.It is simple people, seriously. So, if we have an open that tells us about it, why do we need Ryan to tell us again? This is how we run over.

This week is Disco, by far the best week of every Idol season. Why? Because it separates the "I have a really great story that suckers America" and the people that are legitimately marketable.I have been so excited all day! So, we will have idiots like Llil and Anoop that are EPIC Fails, and rock stars like Adam that make it their own. Someone should just rent a Baz Luhrmann film, and do disco like he does. I hope that Adam does that Someone Left the Cake Out in the Rain song.

Lil- "I'm every woman." Who is surprised? Not me. She picked some big song, and didn't change a thing. Apparently the past 6 weeks of the judges telling her to stop doing lame karaoke versions and to make it her own never happened. Simon, you should have just talked to a wall. One good thing: hair extensions. She actually looks her age. She is an idiot. Kara has the best line ever: "you've been every woman on that stage, blah blah because you haven't been yourself." Haha. Paula babbles about an "inner goddess" and tries to guilt the audience into voting because Lil was sick yesterday. Simon says she's gone. "Copycat." Duh. Why do we care about her feedback? AND she is disagreeing. Because she is STUPID.

Stool Time with Ryan. Kris is adorable.

Kris Allen- Donna Summer- "She Works Hard for the Money." He is so freaking cute, and totally gets it. He does a Jason Mraz/Kenny Loggins hot acoustic version. And we are in love. THIS is what disco night is about. His wife is less cute, and they are not tagging her as his wife in the lower third anymore.Bye bye starter wife. Paula says something lame about "shopping in the womens' dept" and Simon calls her crazy. Simon loves Kris. There is a weird light on Randy- and he looks like an angel.

Earth Wind and Fire- Danny Gokey- "September." I want to kick him in the nards. What do you know? One of the lame ones that is only there because America loves a dead wife does a lame karaoke version. Because, c'mon... he is not EWF material. Because he is a dorky white guy. FYI Paula: THIS woman does not think Danny Gokey is sexy. Thanks Simon for keeping it real.

Allison in a terrible outfit. "Hot Stuff." I was concerned, because there are flames all over the stage. But she rocks it slow in the beginning. And continues to rock it. But good God. That OUTFIT. I get that she wanted to use the disco ball idea, and that she wanted to use the cool 70's suit tails. And she wanted to use the blue eye shadow and the mini boots.... but do we need it all at once? It his hilarious to me that she looks surprised that he says she is one of the best singers in the competition. Paula tries SO HARD to sound relevant. Maybe she should take two steps forward, and two steps back.

I love this stupid Burger King SpongeBob commercial. It cracks me up that people say that it is "teaching obesity and sexuality to your kids." Right... because THAT is where they picked it up. Not you stuffing your face and watching basic cable. Get over it people. Television is not responsible for raising your kid.... you are. It's called parenting. Read a book about it.

Stool time with Ryan. Apparently Adam chose "If I Can't Have You, I Don't Want Nobody" because it is more personal to him...little gay boys across the country are moved. Did you know that he is gonna win? Haha. PAULA IS CRYING. So, she needs to get her hormones checked. It is time for the change of life. I love that Simon can be relevant by just speaking the truth. Thank you Adam for acknowledging that someone helped with that arrangement. He is always good about that, but the judges talk over him.

Matt (who was saved last week, in case you wondered) is singing "Staying Alive." He is kinda . mixing it up. A little jazzier. Please click on that because it was gold. Feedback from the judges: not the best song choice, but it was good. Paula talks about bowling. Simon didn't like it, and poor Matt looks like his dog just got hit by a car. Hey America- guess what?! That was Simon's way of forcing you to vote for Matt so he doesn't go home. He thinks that Lil and Anoop should go home- but you aren't smart enough to listen, so he must use fear.

Ok people. I believe that last week, I said that I wanted to work with a bear, based on the really cool Vitamin Water commercial. After reading my blog, one of the interns from work told me via facebook that she would make it happen. She didn't. What should I do about it?

Anoop- I missed the title, because I wasn't paying attention. Also- I hate Anoop. His outfit is stupid. Oh. "Dim All the Lights." That he has slowed down... that doesn't work- because the song is about dancing, not unrequited love. Ok. A little better tempo, but he just creeps me out. I blame America's obsession with Slumdog Millionaire on him still being in the contest. He is not that talented. 3/4 judges like it. Guess who is a genuis. Funniest thing: Anoop's dad/gpa is caught laughing when Simon calls it horrible. Ha. Sounds like something my dad would do. He's kind of an ass. That's where I get it.

So, it is 8:00 and we are on recaps.... We end at 8:01?! Well, we should, especially since there was no guest judge.... Which is weird. Because isn't there a Gibb that hasn't been on here yet? Or some lame 70's star that is trying to make a comeback? What is David Cassidy ?

FYI- I am kinda creeper out by Fringe. But that is a totally different topic all together.


Gomba said...

I pretty much absolutely despise Danny for singing EWF. Epic fail all over him. Maybe it was an indirect nod to his dead wife? Trying to remember all those nights terribly dancing the night away in September?

Marissa said...

Gomba- you are wonderful.