August 4, 2009

More to Love- second helping

Gotta love a serious opening montage. Lots of "love," tears, kisses, attitude, etc. Love it even more when it is followed by a serious recap, of ONE episode. So- at work today, I bet a co-worker that 6 girls would cry this episode. She said they all will. Betcha I'm closer. :)

First dates!! Two group dates, and the girls get to pick the two groups. The captains are the skeezes that kissed him first. Now we get to relive Melissa's fear of being picked last. Whine. She gets picked fourth. Someone gets smart and realized that someone won't get picked, since there is an odd number. Bet ya she gets picked for the single date. Someone else bitches about being picked last for red rover. Last time I checked for red rover, you WANT someone to bust through a big line, so---- bigger is preferred. You don't want the skinny weak chick for that game. The kids at her school had no strategy. Ha- one girl tells us that Christina was picked last because she was a snob. Haha. And... she gets the single date. Reality show writers----- do you need me?!?

Team Melissa- Crusing out at dusk. Yay. Kristian called him the "bees knees." Love that phrase. Ooh, it is a crusie on the "dreamboat." I hope someone gets seasick and pukes off the side! Seriously... no sooner than I type that- and I get what I want. Hahaha. Talk about buzz kill. Heather was the puker, and she whines and cries.. Malissa is a bitch. No sympathy- and just says "got another one out of the way." Wow. How does Malissa get herself more alone time.... to MAKE OUT AGAIN! And while we are at it... why does she spell her name that way?
And- they eat a big steak dinner. I have officially chosen Kristian as my favorite. She calls Malissa out because apparently she hasn't always been fat, she just let herself go after high school. Kinda like the bachelor- so, funny how that works out. YAY Kristian gets one on one time with dessert. Oooh. He calls her a "special girl." Hm. Wait- I think I hated Kristian last show. Crap, I am such a hypocrite.
So- why does Heather have to sleep downstairs? Can't she take ome medicine and be social? He is such a player. He brings her upstairs to snuggle and chat. AND she cries. Again. Another cheek kiss. Another crying interview. This girl needs THERAPY. It is not healthy to cry that much. Maybe THAT's why you can't keep a boyfriend. I want to mute her, and I have only known her for 20 minutes.
I am concerned that Kristian is falling so quickly. I hope he doesn't break her heart. And I hope Malissa gets punched by another girl.

Lots of yelling-note from Luke- Christina has her one on one date. And she says "thanks for picking me last." And Melissa cries because she wants a one on one date. And there are some catty chicks here. Mandy likes dudes.
When he picks her up, he is excited. Apparently she has this aura about her that is "so sexy, and her body is banging." and she "has butterflies." This is the differnece between men and women. They are getting in a plane, and cuddling and cute.
(flash to the girls at the house) Kristian is falling in love, and the old lady is irritated.
(back to the date)- in Vegas, they roll up on Planet Hollywood. She tells him a cheating story about her ex. Always a good idea for a first date. Just lay all your insecurites on the table.
(house) Lauren is a Christina hater. Bonnie the tattoo girl is funny, and calls her the smelly kid in school that nobody wants to sit next to.
(date) in the suite -on the first date- and make out central!! well- just pecks. then time to jet set. He says that tired bullshit about whether they can "connect on a deeper level." What he means is- she doesn't make his soldier stand at attention. Those little pecks were lame.

Team Annahas a letter from the Bach-grab swim suits. People are FREAKED. This will be interesting. Also- Melissa is crying again. I am over the crying. Apparently- they are gonna "party, and have some drinks." That is his way of making them comfortable in swim suits. Calorie laden beverages. And Melissa cries again. Ok- is it necessary for the camera to do the up down with the camera? Luke jumps in with his shirt off. You know what would be better on this show? What would send a better message? If these women didn't hate themselves so damn much. So many are not happy with who they are, and I am having a hard time wondering why they would let Fox exploit them.
(back at the house) Mandy and Kristian leave notes.
(date)He starts playing with Lauren, and girls are getting jealous. I think Luke is wearing a Tiffany bracelet. He pulls aside the first date crier/puker for the first one on one of the date. She rambles inchorently about why she is on the show. And they end with a little peck, and she says its perfect. Lauren explains her agression. She says that basically she is the female version of him. And then he gives her the bedroom eyes and then they MAKE OUT. Arianne, the old cabaret dancer is uber jealous. Lauren basically says she could give a shit about the girls and their feelings. She has a one track mind.

Crap- I forgot to keep tabs of how many cried!!! I think three so far. So- we are on par for 6, including elimination.

Now the final mixer- Seriously, where do these girls find all these cute dresses? I can't find those over a size 6 (which I haven't been since 6th grade). Bonnie talks about how she is mushy and he shouldn't be afraid of the tattoos. And... Kristian is going into crazytown. She calls him the perfect man. HEY- HOLD YOUR CARDS!!! PLAY MYSTERIOUS!! DON'T BE PSYCHO. And... he plays the friendship card. Oh Lordie--- Heather pulls out the girls(her breasts) to make up for puking on the boat. AND kiss. WHOA! Lauren wants "to share really bad," and gossip. Here is the dirt:Arayan doesn't want kids (and is old). Vanessa is 32, and Lauren talks like she is 67. And Lauren is a catty bitch. Never the way to go. FYI- guys hate that catty girl shit. They don't get it- they aren't wired that way. I hope Melissa goes home- I might have to stop watching.

Oh yeah- Emme hosts this show. Mandy is in. Anna is in. We didn't really see much of them... Amanda- I don't even remember her in this episode. Malissa is a bitch- and is in. Christina is in. SHe looks at him like he's naked. Bonnie- der. Melissa cries again. Heather gets her ring. Lauren does too, so he can keep getting the dirt. Vanessa doesn't trust her. Danielle- don't remember her. Oh yeah, Tali looks like a dude. 2 rings left.... Melissa. ugh. She wears the worst dresses. And... drama drama... then he picks Kristian. The old lady is out, the red headed lawyer is out and some other chick. And she cries. Lawyer- misty eyed... and tears. Old lady.... she isn't that big, fyi. and... she cries... guess what!!?? that's 6. I am the winner. :)



Melissa said...

Crap, you were right - 6 of them cried. I seriously want to make this show into a drinking game - but fear i would be WAY too hungover to come into work the next day.

Marissa said...

Melissa- I thought the same thing, but figured I would stop making sense by the end of it, because I would be LOADED. Anytime they said "because i'm fat," he said "curvaceous" or they cried. THEN- I would have to get my stomach pumped.