August 11, 2009

More to Love- Prom!

The littlest sister is heading to U of AZ this week, so we are having some bonding time. I am typing this on her fancy new laptop. I remember when I went to college, and had to wait until second semester soph year before I got one… but I digress.

Sister has not seen an episode, and is not so excited to watch this… but oh well. I am the big sister, I win. The bet tonight- I guessed 8 will cry, work friend guessed 7, sister guessed 6. This is gonna be tight.

How freaking long is this recap??!!??Between the recap and my blog, everything is laid out, so feel free to join in anytime.

So- Kristian wanted the dirt on how bachelor looks in a bathing suit. Also- she says she wants to cover him in bbq sauce and eat him like a pork chop. Oh Lordie.

The Bachelor gives some bullshit about how growing up, a lot of us (he was not one) were pushed aside... blah blah. And he is taking them to prom. Fyi -I didn't go to prom. Now the girls tear open the boxes. looking for a dress. Now we get to hear how many went to prom. So far, Kristian- but she stole her friend's date for a photo. Some other chick took a friend. Lauren didn't go, bc the guy she was dating didn't realize it was her prom... Luke loves the ladies, and why is Melissa wearing white? and crying? she sucks. I hope she leaves.

Ew. there is a reality show about the Octomom. I agree with sister: " i hope that CPS sees this and takes her children away." That would be nice, but so would her being eaten by a bear.

Luke wants to give them the prom night they have always dreamed of. Also- it wasn't Luke's idea.. he just does what the producers tell him to do. Sister says.. " a lot of these girls aren't that big." Right? Kristian is a shitty dancer, and is getting a little fan girl. And she gets her kiss. Sister laughs. Ugh. Melissa can't dance... seems like crying is her main skill. Her prom was awful. How awkward is this... he dances with one at a time.. and the other girls just hang out. And- another kiss. WHOA! What is Emme doing here at the beginning of the show!! With a surprise!! His friends are here!! ... I hope one gets drunk and hit on a girl.. OOOOH! There will be a queen, who receives an individual date with Luke. And I don't know how they win, since sister was rambling. Chase is the frat friend. Who are some of these girls? Apparently Danielle is a plus size model, and Heather gets snubbed because she doesn't talk. Who is this lady in red? Have we seen her before? Oh- Mandy- she looks less like a dude. Amazing what a professional make up crew can do.

Now, it is time to announce who his best friends have picked as prom queen. Danielle. :) The receptionist that is pretending that she runs the whole organization. Lauren is a bitch, and Heather is sick of sharing him. Umm. You signed up for this. Danielle cries. (2) Bonnie- since when is the prom queen the most liked? I think you are confused with miss Congeniality. Danielle has been on three first dates... blah blah blah. He just stares. Maybe that is why you don;t get a second date. Just sayin. She doesn't eat seafood..

Back at the house.. the girls talk shit about Danielle.

Back at the date- Ew. She SLAMS the dessert. A chocolate covered banana. And keeps talking. With chunks of chocolate spewing from her mouth. He was wiped out from her. So, he wants to be quiet.. and she babbles. and says "i am still a virgin." AWKWARD. His response... " I like being on the water." She makes some lame mention of a fitting metaphor, looking out and seeing endless possibilities.

Luke is going to give Heather some one on one time. Why is Kristian wearing a cowboy hat? Hey Lauren... put the big eyes away and stop being a CU Next Tuesday, and maybe you might get more of what you want. Heather and Luke go to Trust Ranch. Luke asks the question everyone is thinking, "Is my horse going to mind that I am over 300 lbs?" It's cool.

Back at the house. Kristian tells Dani she wants to ring her next. Then Melissa B. ASKS K to tell her about her. She said that she thinks she is hiding something. AND THEN MELISSA SAYS SHE IS BEING ATTACKED. Hello you asked her opinion.

Back to the date- Heather talks about her singing career. Luke tells her to go for it, and she doesn't because of her size. AND she cries. She thinks Luke could love her, because she loves herself. And the kiss. Sister laughs. I think she is surprised by the amount of kissing. I forgot to warn her, and apparently she only reads the blog posts that "are interesting" to her. Doubt she'll read this. Lame.

I am a GLEEK. So is sister.

Now it is the evening mixer portion of the evening. It was so nice that blondie was out of this episode. Christina- you should be concerned, because I don't remember you. Luke and Lauren have a moment. Danielle- there is a difference between a "political campaign" and being emo in the corner. Jerk. OMG. Bonnie brings him a present, IN HER BOOBS. It is a drawing. Oy. Hey, Kristian. Dial it back. four days... you are falling for him?!?! HAHA. Sister is addicted. Kristian cries.

Ring time. Four go home. It is "a lot." You know, one more than last week, and one less than the week before. Malissa isn't as confident this week.

Here we go... Luke gives the same "luckiest guy" bullshit speech. Get to the good shit. I think I need four more criers to win... heather is in. Mandy is in. Why did he call her second? Anna- who are you? Shut up. Oh, he gives her a ring. Lauren. Of course. She is a drama creator. Just wit until we get to a "who would you vote off" show. She will be amazing. Tali- in. Melissa B is in. Malissa A looks pissed. Two rings... Malissa. And Kristian. So-- Bonnie is out. two lame girls whose name is don't remember are out, and the babbling brooke is out. One of the no names cries. Of course she is surprised by who stays. Bonnie does not cry. She is rocking. The other no name girl calls it out that she is prettier than the other that are her- specifically Mel B. Danielle pretends like she learned the biggest lesson. Wells, but no drop.

Yes!!! Next week the girls have to say why other girls suck!!! And Lauren is going to give a star performance. And there are so many questions!!!!

I got lost on the cry count--- but it was under 6- so work friend, you win. I hope this covers for you missing the episode.


Melissa said...

i actually got home in time to watch it! This week's episode seemed a little "filler"...although watching Danielle make an ass out of herself was worth it.

Anonymous said...

is Luke's mom Faith a psychotherapist or psychologist? She absolute wreaked of the vibe? If so, that was a good thing.. mom read Malissa perfectly.. imagine Malissa's two crack-selling sisters at the Thanksgiving table.. ugghhh.. Mallissa I'm sure would have been such a slave-driver to Luke and also never really ever come close to loving Luke..