May 19, 2010

Idol Recap- Vote Off to 2

I'm blogging at the boyf's house tonight, and I told him who was going to go home as he handed me his laptop to type. He had a screen open that announced the final two, and I looked down to see if I was right. And I was.

So, blogging tonight is even more anti-climactic than normal. And I have to watch the first 9 minutes of the most boring Idol interviews in the history of the world. You know what I don't want to hear? Idols whining. And since when does Crystal have diabetes? Bring out the baby. Bring out the illness. All we need is a retard sister, and we are good. Oh, no, wait. That is Nicole Scherzinger's game. I don't care if I spelled her name correctly. I think she is a phony, and she is using her down syndromed sister to get votes. That is disgusting. Different show, but I need to blog about things that are more relevant to my interests, so whatever.

In case you were wondering, I AM 6 budlight limes and two Candian Club and iced teas in. So what?

These commercials are really out of hand. Apparently these idols are spray painting to show they are wild. And then Ryan pimps the concert again. Remember at this point of the competition when the concerts were all sold out? Yeah, not so much anymore.

Montage of home town scenes. Casey gets asked if he has a woman in his life. Only every night, and then he kicks her out before coffee. Wow, he got some Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders there. It IS the off season, and the veterans need some cardio to keep them active, so.... Apparently Casey got in an accident 6 years ago, and he is now choosing a time with cameras present to come back and say thank you. I guess that hospital has no turnover rate, and the same nurse that emptied his bed pan is still there. Eff this noise; this is so put on.

Just referenced the open link boyf had up again. Wow, this chick is not funny. But- she lives on the East Coast. Is that what I need to professionally blog about television? An East Coast time zone? Because, wow. Did I mention that this blogger is a ginger with glasses? Yes, I just pulled that card. I need to start vlogging, so VH-1 will put me on their snarky countdowns. I am WAY finnier than Jwoww, and can perform loosely scripted television a whole hell of a lot better. And I have a prettier face. That is what people tell pretty girls that have curves, in case you were wondering. ;)

And we get to talk to Perez Hilton now. In case you didn't know, this piece of shit blogger thinks he can be the next Simon Cowell. Has even offered to do it for free. I guess that his newest discovery (since HE discovered, Gaga) is Travis Garland, who is better than Timberlake. Which is why we have a tri-spilt screen for the first time in Idol history. He looks like your average frat boy. He has a leather vest with rousching in the back. I don't even know what he was singing about, because I couldn't understand it, and was too busy fuming about what an entire waste of time this season was.

Crystal in Ohio? Somehow I thought I she was Canadian. Did I make that up? Ugh, brush your hair, hippie. How are you tired? You didn't have to wake up early for hair and make up, so STFU. The mayor of Toledo had white washed jeans and a leather vest with a matching leather hat. What a stud. Oh, how clever. Her outdoor performance is called "bowerstock," like "woodstock." Vomit. She wrote a song called "Holy Toledo," and I doubt it is as good as "Cleveland Rocks." And she cries. And I roll my eyes.

Lee is in "Chicago," which really means the 75 miles surrounding Chicago. He throws out the first pitch for the Cubs, and I realize that we are not meant to be. Because only losers like the Cubs. It pisses me off when we see first grade teachers, because what first grade teacher really remembers a kid from 20 years ago? There are girls running around in neon shirts saying "vote lee," and they remind me of the "live girls direct" t-shirts in Vegas. Lee has the biggest crowd, and he totally cries, and so does his dad. Kinda sweet, because I feel like it is genuine with him.

It is 844, and Bieber isn't on yet. WTH?

Yessssssssss. So, in case you don't follow me on Twitter, I babysit my 3 and 6 YO cousins on MWF, and sometimes other days. They are precious, and sometimes we have Justin Bieber dance parties. He is so fricking cute with his lesbian haircut. And everyone who ever performs with him looks like they are having so much fun. That damn "Baby" song is so catchy. I miss the Ludacris part. When I was 13... I had my first love. A lot different from his "Fantasy" song.

Now we got down to the bottom two. At 854. Better than having the losers sit there the whole show. Randy has purple glasses today. First person in is Lee. Duh. His parents are cute. Joining Lee is Crystal, and she asks if that means if she is safe. Yes, hippie. Casey is "thankful for the opportunity," even though he checked out a few weeks ago. His mom or sister is in a really ugly tiered dress. He chooses to sing "Daughters," and mess it up even worse than he did last night. Like, reallllllly mess it up. Geez, dude. You still have the tour. Who is the little girl he picked up? Niece? Ellen is totally crying. That is sweet. I think she is really a good hearted person who feels a connection with these contestants. Good for her. Must be niece, because she could care less about being there, and quickly runs back to mom when the song is done.

In his final video package, Crystal mentions she has a crush on Casey. Which would explain the crying. And then Ryan hits puberty and squeeks through the end.

Does anyone cares who wins? Comment below.

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