Idol Recap- Whaddya Want From Me?

I am really excited about Idol tonight, because when it's over, GLEE is on.

I wonder(again) how much they spend in the lighting budget on the show. With my event production experience, I know that it is one of the cheaper ways to jazz something up- but seriously.

Kara is too dressed up compared to the other judges. At least it isn't sparkles this week. Ellen and Randy have decided they can BOTH wear vests, as long as one of them is sleeveless. Speaking of Ellen, I was a little geeked out when @TheEllenshow started following me on Twitter. I want you all to know that it will not sway my blogging, and if she says something stupid- I will still make fun. ;)

What?!?! Adam Lambert is the mentor for Elvis week? Where did I hear that it was for Queen week, or did I make that up? Is it because of the hair? Or is it the frequent use of glitter and glitz? Let's just hope he doesn't have the same obsession with fried banana and peanut butter sandwiches. Ahhh, Adam loves Elvis because he was a showman. He also acknowledges the fact that he is just beginning his career, so what does he know about mentoring. I am waiting for him to ----=omgomgomgomgomgomg Mr. Schuester is sitting right behind him!!!!!!---- come out with a Proactiv commercial. Shit, Katy Perry did it. Totally looks nothing like her in the commercial and it weirds me out every time. but. Ryan made some joke, and I totally missed it... I think it was borderline inappropriate.

The Dirty Hippie is singing "Saint," which I don't think I have ever heard. She is called "authentic" for the 8,352 time this season. Adam tells her to go electric and "let those dreads down." I hope bugs don't fall out. Randy thinks it was DOPE, and the second coming of Bonnie Raitt.... what? Ellen, instead of being repetitive, uses the time to say Happy Birthday to everyone in the audience. I know so many fricking Aries, it is ridiculous. They will be excited that they get the extra attention. Kara said something. Simon said it was original, blah blah. I really think I will just stop reviewing her. Wouldn't it be HI-Lar if everyone felt comfortable, and didn't vote for her--- and she was the bottom?? The judges have already used their "save." Yes, I'm dreaming. Yes, I have a thing against hippies that drives this thought.

Awkward Stool Time with Andrew. Damn, I thought they would have cut this to save time. He is reallllly boring. I though the tshirt/jeans/blazer combo peaked about 3 years ago... He is singing "Hound Dog," and Adam calls him out for being boring. Which he is. How has he made it this far? He's got the old school Elvis mic, and so far- it's boring. It sounds exactly the same as it did during rehearsal, when Adam said it was boring. Walking around the judges and towards the audience doesn't make it more interesting. Randy said it was "not good karaoke." Ellen wants more swagger, but he pulled it off. Kara thinks the mic was his crutch. Simon called it lazy, and it was the "part of the musical that no one wants to see or hear...." and "(his) coolness has been sucked out." So true. Ryan calls out that Ellen is the only one that liked it- apparently not understanding that SOMEONE has to fill the role of "the one that is always positive."

- took a twitter break, and found out the apparently the joke from Ryan involved tongues, and Brian Dunkleman. Somewhere, in his mother's basement, Dunkleman shoves another spoon full of Ben and Jerry's in his face. -

Tim is doing "I Can't Help Falling In Love With You." I think if he went with the UB-40 version, it would be gold. Adam says he should sing the end in the higher octave, like thoe Jonas Brothers do- because it makes little girls dial. Well, at least that's what he MEANS. Ryan is dancing with a random dude in the audience. It is too dark on the stage, and it doesn't really help the "I'm watching you from the bushes" face that he makes. Randy actually liked it, and the decibel level jumps. Ellen jumps in with another analogy- this time comparing him to tequila... the more she drinks it, the more she likes it. Simon liked it. Apparently the guy Ryan danced with was Michael Sarver, last season's "regular guy."

Lee Dewyze is jazzing up "A Little Less Conversation," and Adam tells him that his face is part of the performance, so maybe he should. His raspy voice goes a little better with the idea behind the song, which, in case you didn't know, is "shut your mouth and let's get busy." Randy geeks out. Ellen loves that it is more current, and reinforces that his confidence is what helps his performance. Kara loved the vocal- but wanted him to be a little more playful. Simon laughs at it and asks if she wants him to bounce around the stage. Simon loved it, and seems to be the only one that remembered that we are on limited time tonight. GLEE in less than an hour.

Aaron Kelly is singing "Blue Suede Shoes," because it is the probably the oldest type song he could pick, so at 16- naturally it would be the best fit. Adam tells him to get aggressive and grab his balls. Aaron realizes it's a bad choice, but could give a shit. Ugh. It seems very karaoke. Popped collar, bopping head, swaying hips... is he trying out for Grease? He then slows it down to a lounge act. Randy asks why it isn't the right song.. and his answer was "the drinking part." Randy liked the second half. Ellen thought it was a big song to take on, so it was an A for effort. Kara liked it because he was out of his comfort zone, and more current. The crowd seems shocked. Simon, of course, agrees with me. Old fashioned, karaoke, and a high school concert. He also said "frusss trAAY- ting" We are on the same level tonight.

It is so nice to be able to have two performances before a commercial. :)


Awkward Stool Time with Siobhan, and she has Elvis hair too. I hope that Adam tells her to stop trying to be him. "Suspicious Minds," is her song of choice- and he is sleepy, so he tells her to up the tempo. He says it is a "compliment" that people are comparing her to him. I wonder how many times he had to practice that to make it sound genuine. Her outfit looks like the one that Terry wears when she is a girl again in "Just One of The Guys." Damn you, google images for not providing me with a picture. And it is so 80's pop. Turrrrible. And the parents with her face on their shirt. Randy blah blah blah. Ellen thinks she looks fabulous, and liked the second half better, where she yelled like a banshee. Kara says she is confused by the two voices, and isn't crazy about it. Simon thinks it was erratic and not one of her best. Ryan wants to know what she should do next week. He says pick something that is more her. She says she doesn't know who she is, and that's ok, because who needs labels. Yup- and everyone gets a trophy, and everyone is special. Ugh.

Michael ins singing "In the Ghetto," which Siobhan recommended, because, you know, he's black. He slows it down and sings it on the chair with the guitar, because the ladies love it that way. Judges are kept to one sentence, because they realized that they wasted their chat time on the others. And they know they need it for Katie.

She is singing ".Baby Whatcha Want Me To Do?" because she wants to bring in the emotion of not knowing what the judges want into a song. Adam tells her that means she needs to rough it up, and you know, perform it. WHAT IS THAT OUTFIT. She is yelling into the mic half the time, and it is rough. Lights bonanza! Another tshirt family. Randy was "entertained," and seems surprised that it should be happening at this stage in the competition. Ellen said it was horny. Because there were a lot of horns. Kara got sassy. And Simon said it was annoying. But it doesn't matter what he thinks. When I look at her, I think of a comment from Showgirls. It is when the casting director is critiquing the girls, and he says to one (paraphrasing) "come back when you've screwed off the baby fat. " That's kinda how I feel about her.

GLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Casey is singing some song about misery. Adam tells him to make it more interesting, and he's like, "yeah, totally." Apparently "Cloudy, Miss Cloudy" is the song. His hair is pulled back, and his back up singers are on the stairs. It is weird. Ryan is really hanging out in the audience, and it is kind of creepy uncle with all the touching. Solid performance, blah blah. Ellen says it wasn't as exciting as she has seen.... Kara was bored. Simon called it a wasted opportunity. So, the show is ending on a downer...

Man- the bitches at Glee made sure this show ended when it was supposed to. Sorry Idol, you aren't the top dawg anymore. Don't mess with Glee fans, we've been waiting 4 months.

Who cares who goes home tomorrow? Fingers crossed for Siobhan and Aaron. Remember, there are supposed to be two. ;)


I'm not going to crazy spell check- because GLEE is on.

Idol Recap- Let's Talk About Chicks, Man

It's the time of year where I actually get regular readers to my blog! Yay! I have decided to start blogging about Idol earlier in the season than normal. I NEVER blog during the audition process, because I spend most of that time yelling at my tv when Randy says 200 million thousand percent yes. That isn't a real number. Yes is 100%. No is 0%. Maybe could be 45-65%.

If you are new- here is the drill:
- I live blog, and type as I watch. You are getting straight up reactions about the performance.
- I could care less about the sob stories and life dreams. I won't even remember their names on call until there are only 8 left. There will be nicknames and usually not nice ones.
- I swear. That won't change. If that offends you, there are plenty of other recaps to read. :)
- My musical talent is average. I can carry a tune, but by no means am I a vocalist. I just like reality tv, and people read this- so it makes me feel special. ;)

Here we go!!

This is the first year with Ellen, and I have friends that used to IdolBlog, but refuse to now because of her. I agree that Ellen will probably mess things up, but this is my last year as an IdolBlogger, as it is Simon's last year. The show will be useless without him. We open with what is expected to be the first of MANY time consuming Ellen produced joke pieces. This one is about how she can't sit next to Simon because he is feely. Simon fake laughs, but even he wants to get to the meat of the show. We don't actually get to the performances until about 7:12. This is the crap that makes them run over.

Tonight- we hear about the ladies.... here are my BRIEF recaps:

Paige Miles- "All Right Now" She decides not to change the lyrics, so the "hey there is a hot chick over there, maybe she wants to make out" concept stays. She does this annoying tapping the fingers on the mic crap. And that annoying "let me show you I can hit a million different notes within 8 seconds" bit. Meh. Lame. Simon says that it is a terrible song choice, and he is right. The rest of the judges then take sides, for the first of many times, as if the rest of their opinions matter.

Ashley Rodriguez- "Happy" I don't know this song, so I can't compare. Holding the mic a little close- I don't need to hear every breath and spittle. She has a nice voice, but I am bored. The judges all agree. Simon hates it, and tells her she is going backwards. Kara's hair looks stupid. She needs to realize how old she really is, girl.

Janelle Wheeler- "What About Love?"- I love Heart. And this girl was likeable, until she started singing. It pains me when people mess up awesome songs. Flat. Nervous. Forgettable. OUCH. Off key. ROUUUUUUGH at the end. She is about to cry, and she should. It sucked. Judges agree- her voice isn't big enough for that song.

Lilly Scott-"Fixing a Hole"- Ugh, the gray hair is weird. What is the standard spelling for gray? I like it better with the "a." She picks a relatively unknown Beatles song. Probably during their really stoned stage. That is when I lose contact, as I am not a pot smoking hippie. She has one of those "unique" voices. I don't mind it, I am just nervous about what happens during Disco week- if she makes it that far. Wow. Major eye sex with the camera. Ellen loves her, Simon says he doesn't feel the star power, but she is the best so far. Randy says she is a real "indie artist." What was your first clue, dude? She has gray hair and plays a guitar. She isn't exactly the next big thing for Gospel.

Katelin Epperley- "Oh Darling"She has big blonde curly hair, and with that bow in it, she looks like "Like a Virgin Madonna." Someone sings this song each season. She is confident, and I don't really know how I feel about her. Simon does- he likes her, but thinks she is rough around the edges. Kara uses some technical terms like "melodies" and "register." She did that last season, and I liked her better then. She says she hates the makeover. Ellen says what I was thinking- "I couldn't tell if you were trying too hard, but I still like ya." ummmmm Kara just said the b-word. Family show, Kara. We only use sexual innuendo that goes over the kiddies heads, not straight up cursing.

Haely Vaughn -"I Wanna Hold Your Hand" GUMS. The lisp is annoying. She is doing the Hold Your Hand melody from Across the Universe. Well, she was. And then she yells/screeches... and yodels. Make her stop. Ears bleeding. Dogs across the neighborhood are barking. Seriously. Kara pulls a "Paula," and says "technically it sucked, but you lit up the stage, you really had fun up there." I don't care if she is having fun- it was awful. Randy says the notes are "not quite as pleasing as they could be." I guess that is a nicer way to put it. Ellen blah blah blah. Simon- "wind up doll that never stopped smiling." :) "A complete utter mess." Love him.

Lacey Brown- "Landslide" I don't even remember her. Her southern belle voice doesn't mix with her electric red pixie cut. Nasally, sharp. It is like she has never heard herself sing with a mic. The arrangement sucks. The Idol guys in the audience are kind of looking at each other uncomfortably. Randy- "terrible and PITCHY." In case you are new to Idol, that is one of his buzz words. Ellen says she is better than that. Simon said it was indulgent and was waiting for it to end. She can leave. I wouldn't remember her if she showed up on a future season of Celeb Rehab. Now she is getting sassy about the criticism. Kiss of Death. Smell ya later, bitch. You can't get sassy with the judges until you have successfully made it through 4 weeks not being in the bottom 3.

Michelle Delamor- "Falling" I have no idea who this chick is. They try to give her some extra screen time by asking her some random crap. How many times do we have to hear this song on this show? Wow. Arms spread. Lights up. Hot the drums. Las Vegas show style. Willing to bet that Simon calls it "Cruise Ship." Ellen loves it. Simon says it sounds close- but not as good as the original. Says she needs to be different, but she has done enough to move on. Kara does the head bobbing thing that she does when she talks to the "soul sisters. "She goes from sass to straight laced faster that Tyra Banks.

Didi Benami-"The Way I Am"- This is the perfect song for her. I love Ingrid Michaelson. She is even able to make it a little different. But Simon thinks it is indulgent- and too many girls are trying to be the same kind of different. Kara is actually familiar with the song, and tells them that she is making changes. I don't like her name.

Siobhan Magnus-"Wicked Game" She never should have gotten into the top 24.She looked like she was terrified/in pain at her last performance. Wow. She is singing like a dude. Her stage presence is better. And she has definitely been made over. I am starting to like her. A lot, actually. Kara brings up that it is nasally. And Randy liked the second verse better. Simon calls her a "funny little thing." Simon wants to know why she picked it--- she wanted them to see her softer side. She finds the song haunting. Simon looks like he is afraid she would kill him. Randy proves he is dumb by totally not getting a "she can blow" joke. Because she is a glass blower. Get it?

Crystal Bowersocks- "Hand in My Pocket" Dirty hippie. Dreadlocks gross me out. What is IN there? This is a way more likeable version than what Alanis originally did. I always skipped this song on the album, because I don't like yodeling. Except when Jewel does it. I dig that this chick plays the harmonica. Randy thinks she's honest and she's gonna "do her thing." Simon says yeah-" we like you, we like your baby, but there are a million of you standing outside a Subway." :)

Katie Stevens- "Feeling Good" We get to hear this for the 8,392 time on this show. I used to like her. Way too much voice for a 17 year old. It's trippy. She is doing this bouncy bop thing I don't really care for. That "I don't want to dance, but I have to do SOMETHING thing." Ellen thinks it is too old for her. And then repeats it a million times. And Simon agrees. And said it started to become annoying for that reason. "very pageanty." Randy tries to get technical. She handles that criticism like a pro, and says she can definitely make the changes, and she agrees with what the judges say. Nicely coached.

So- vote if you want. I don't. We've got the dudes tomorrow. I hate these dancing montages. They look stupid. Until tomorrow.

Hazzah!

So. Sorry for the delay. I was over at the boyfriend's this weekend, and his internet was not working. Boo. Right before I was about to dump him, the cox guy showed up and fixed it. Joking. I wouldn't dump someone over lack of internet.... would I? ;)

Today, my sisters and I had an outing with some friends to the Renaissance Festival. Something we make sure to hit once a year, but each year I get less excited. This year, we had a good time, but I think I have officially ended my relationship with the Tortuga Twins. They suck. Allow me to give you their basic plot: take 20 minutes to tell everyone how funny their show is. How it is crazy and not for kids. Insert quasi-gay guy jokes. Then they pick people from the audience- a girl with big boobs... and then, a couple other people who matter less because they don't have big boobs. They then use these people to tell a classic story, like Little Red Riding Hood. That story is actually only 12 sentences long, but takes 20 minutes to tell, because they need to tell a few more gay jokes and then oogle the boobies to prove they only joke about being gay. After 16 years at the AZ Ren Fest, you think they would come up with some better material. Over it. We actually left their show to see London Broil. More about them in a minute.



Here they are. I stole this from photobucket. Don't be confused- there are three, but they are twins. It is part of the schtick.

A group much cooler is the London Broil. They juggle. AND are funny. AND I have a crush on Duncan, and today we made a connection, and if I could deal with living in an RV, we would be on the way to Vegas to get married. I took some really cool video, of them juggling, and juggling chairs, and juggling and shifting and juggling and dancing with FIRE. But, because I am an idiot, and I have a new phone, I deleted them when I thought I was saving them. Crap. Oh well. Here is a picture my sister took on the school trip.



Here they are, juggling with fire. Because they are fucking rad. And Duncan would be the one in the red and blue.

London Broil was the highlight of the day, followed by the white and milk chocolate covered strawberries. :) Otherwise, it is a bunch of dirty hippies.

Hazaah!