Idol Recap- First Vote Off

I didn't blog during the cheesy opening montage and lame group sing, because it was more important for me to eat my beef fajita nachos. Yes, they were delicious. These group sings are so unbelievably painful to watch, and so totally karaoke that I have no idea how Simon hasn't gotten the removed.

Off with their heads starts with the ladies:
Back row-
the witch, Siobhan is safe
gums, Hayley safe
the chick I don't remember, Michelle- safe
big haired blonde, Katelyn safe

One of these two goes home:
old little girl, Katie
the girl that messed up Heart, Janelle

Randy is asked who deserves to go... and he is lame and doesn't answer. Grow some balls, dude.
7:15 :Janelle goes home. Because she sucks. And she is only an average looking blonde with a minimal personality. And then she gets another chance to make our ears bleed. Why do we let the early rejects sing? Shouldn't it be only the top 8 sing at departure? There is a reason we got rid of them. Thanks for reminding us that we did not like her.

And now, a performance from last years pink haired 17 YO power voice. Her hair is still pink, but noticeably longer. When she finishes, she asks Ryan if it was time to have another awkward conversation. Haha. Love her.

Front row ladies, time to rock:
Paige "too boring to have a nickname" is safe
Creepy pixie girl, Lacey is miraculously safe
Grey haired girl, Lilly is safe
dirty hippie Crystal, safe

Ashely and Didi are bottom two- Ellen gets asked what advice she has for the loser. "It is just a new begininning somewhere else. " Ha. Didi is safe, and there is justice in the world. Camera pans to fake sad looks from the girls. This chick acts like she has been on this show for months, and dedicates her crappy performance to her family. If I were her family, I would tell her thanks for the crappy consolation gift, I wanted a new car. And no, you cant sleep on my couch while you look for another job.

7:36 We are back from commercial and there is some weird video with the 70's kid in a bathrobe during dress rehearsal. Weird.

Big Mike is safe. Duh.
Shania Twain's lover, safe
The original 16 YO is safe
the dancer is safe, but Ryan lets him sweat it out. Watch your back, dude.

The last minute addition and the American Dream are in the bottom two. Kara is asked if America is right, and beats around the bush. Ryan is direct and asks again and she says no. The next question Ryan should have asked was who SHOULD have been there then, but he is too lame to ask that. Create some tension, dude! The last minute addition is safe and is so surprised, he makes a face like there is a ferret crawling in his pants. This guy kinda cries when he finishes his song, and he proves he is too fragile a soul for this machine.

Idol Gives Back. Call me an asshole, but I tune out for each one of these. They sent Kris Allen to Haiti. He is a genuine guy, so I don't mind him coming on here and talking about giving back, because I think he really does mean it. I can't see some of these assholes help an old lady walk across the street, so the idea that they would help somewhere like Haiti is ridiculous. Kris sings "Let It Be." I must be honest. As much as I tried to fight it, I fell victim to his charms last season and developed a little crush. I swooned. Haven't bought an album though.

Crap, we're back
Surfer dude is safe. Duh
The asshole, Jermaine is safe. America, you are stupid.
The average guy, Lee is safe
The artsy one, Andrew is safe

Cougar bait (Tyler) and the mullet kid (Alex) are in the bottom two. Simon is asked who he thinks it is based on the vocals and he says "Tyler, it's over." And he is right. Tyler says that he didn't get any constructive criticism during Hollywood week, and what he heard came too late. Way to pass the blame, asshole.

The "say goodbye" montage is all 4 losers together. Thank you Idol, for knowing that we don't really have an emotional attachment to these guys yet, so a one minute overview with all of them is more than enough.

Girls on Tuesday and guys on Wednesday, and Ryan says "it's gonna get dramatic." We get the end credits while Tyler croons. I like that the dudes don't do the fake hugs and pouts. Until next week (Idol wise) -Smell ya later, bitches.